Recently Played: Tilly and the Wall - You and I Misbehaving
You stopped stopping by to say hello
It’s frightening how quickly moods shift between extremes. One of the reasons I haven’t been writing logs over recent weeks is that my mood hasn’t been constant enough to give an accurate representation of how I am feeling. If I had tried to describe what I’ve been up to it would have sounded overly emotional, feeble and teetering on the edge of ‘attention seeker’. Our feelings motivate us to act upon something and for me rapidly fluctuating feelings prevent me from concentrating on a given task. The contented man who spends his days laying bricks at a construction site is helping to build something of material worth and utility: A home, a shop a cinema complex, whatever. The unhappy man who spends his days in lonely contemplation is capable of exquisite poetry or magnificent canvases of fine art. The man who experiences undulating mixes of happiness and melancholy is, more often than not, incapable of achieving anything. What I’m trying to say, albeit with the use of amateurish adages, is that I cannot point to anything useful that I’ve accomplished all summer long.
Sat at computer terminal in the dusty corner of a university library is precisely where I want to be. A girl with provocative glasses logs onto a computer opposite me, glancing over at me as she drops out of view behind her screen. With this being the first day back at university following a near five-month break, I’m feeling understandably shaky about whether I’ll be able to revive a studious mindset before lectures start on Monday morning. It’s easy to be full of good intentions at the beginning of the new term. The girl with the glasses answers her phone with a broad Welsh accent, ruining my preconception of something softer. One of the most exciting aspects of meeting new people lies in the moments when they go ahead and smash apart any expectations you had of them. That is why I try my best only to build up inconsequential hopes for people. I’m starting to find that the people I feel closer to are the people who don’t place unreasonable demands on me. For instance, if I don’t contact somebody for a few weeks where I normally would, it would be foolish of them to feel aggrieved. They still do [feel aggrieved]. Who knows what goes on…
Counter arguers could suggest that close relationships are by their very nature built upon expectations. If I choose to marry someone, I’m expecting them to never commit adultery. However, the presumption of a faithful partner is, by popular consensus, intrinsic to western culture and therefore keeping to it is trivial. It’s not that I don’t think people should place expectations upon me. I’m certainly not trying to shy away from responsibility. Rather, I do not like people to expect things of me that I cannot reasonably keep to or that are not usually required by the normal social etiquette. ‘Before I knew them, they weren’t bothered that I didn’t talk to them every day, so why are they bothered now.’ In the world of expectation, being faithful to your husband is in practise less important than remembering to send a letter to an old friend. The world of expectation! Ha. Only I could write this.
This is becoming text-heavy and increasingly absurd and inconsistent. Fortunately, text-heavy waffle happens to be my spare time speciality, a talent I should exercise more regularly…
26th September, 2007 at 8:13 pm :
I concur
USS
26th September, 2007 at 9:08 pm :
What is happening to this country? It’s all going down the pan. The parents of this generation’s hooded delinquents have a lot to answer.
Concurrence is progress.
FAB
26th September, 2007 at 9:10 pm :
Not my cup of tea. {Another cryptic message, so don’t worry if this does not make sense.)
It was just a around about way of asking what "Us" is about, if indeed I am granted exclusive access to that internet space? If not, can you replace the links in "silence" - very useful, even if only for my idleness.
26th September, 2007 at 9:52 pm :
I agree with Tom. Maybe Sicko will persuade me otherwise, but I doubt it. Is it corruption, or just stupidity?
Can we blame the parents?
I blame the scapegoats.
26th September, 2007 at 10:37 pm :
Who is Sicko? I presume you weren’t referring to David Bates, even though I agree that some of his keyboard solos could be described as ’sick’.
As for us (ah, that was good wasn’t it), I apologise that is has temporarily replaced a few useful links. Those links will be moved to the main page in a few days. As for us (I won’t tire of that): it is a little project that will be made public on the 29th December 2007. Only I will have access until then. I have chosen to let people know that the project exists so that I will be motivated to work hard on it. It really is worth waiting for, I promise.
If you search “sicko” on my website it asks if you meant, “sick”.
26th September, 2007 at 10:44 pm :
Sicko is a film by Moore (Michael, not Roger). It is about the NHS.
I am frustrated. I work with idiots. How can I converse with people who are unaware of diphthongs?
Tom, I admit I cannot wait for Us.
26th September, 2007 at 10:56 pm :
I have just had to Google diphthongs.
26th September, 2007 at 11:07 pm :
Shame on you. I thought you were a geek.
Yes Rufus, you do.
26th September, 2007 at 11:58 pm :
Although I had heard the term and was vaguely aware of its meaning, I had to Google it for the details and technicalities. I guess we are no longer allowed to talk with you! It must be Grotton related.
27th September, 2007 at 12:42 am :
Ha. It has only just clicked as to what this is referring to. I had to get out of bed and switch my computer on in order to acknowledge it. I was rather stupid not remembering. It was one of the most satisfyingly amusing moments so far this year when he went and ordered that. It brought everything that is funny about your original story together.
27th September, 2007 at 11:42 am :
Talking of Moore, Michael, I recently watched Farenheit 911 (after many years of saying that I wouldn’t because I really enjoyed Farenheit 451 by Bradbury, Ray and being unimpressed by the complete rip-off of the title, but that is another issue).
Has anyone else seen it? I would be fascinated to see if anyone else thought it was anything other than hateful "it must be true because it was on that film" conspiricy. More to the point, I was utterly appaled that I gave up a portion of time in order to watch such nonsense. I was totally unaware that there was only one way in which towers could collapse!
27th September, 2007 at 1:57 pm :
Aspartame in the water supply?
[If that makes no sense, I apologise. I'm sure someone told me it retards your brain once.]
27th September, 2007 at 9:47 pm :
I have seen Farenheit 911, and as much as I agree with the general message portrayed through the "shocking" footage I believe the case is poorly argued. It saddens me. More people should listen to Dilated Peoples - Proper Propaganda. I would normally rant further but I am too lackadaisical.
I wasn’t being specific about the knowledge diphthongs, it was just an example.
27th September, 2007 at 11:07 pm :
Today I have seen 7 vulgar Slag Tags. I think the adjective is rather ridiculous actually. Ahh well, isn’t everything?
27th September, 2007 at 11:18 pm :
This is strange. I read your latest comment having just closed a web page that showcased pictures of people who had Morrissey related tattoos.
30th September, 2007 at 12:04 am :
Why do I check Facebook, Myspace, LJ and TIH every hour or so, even when 3 of them email me if anything interesting happens. I also frequent http://www.timeanddate.com where I have a customised counter counting down to when I will see KT. I need a life. Got any spare ones going cheap?
30th September, 2007 at 11:40 am :
You could try deleting your accounts on three of those sites. However, you’ll only find other places to go. I think everybody spends far too much time on the ‘refresh cycle’ if they have freely available internet access and spare time. A quick look at my web stats reveals that you are not the only one to check this site so often. You are the only one (apart from me) to post comments on it to amuse yourself though.
This month, the web stats bring up, “fuck blything” and “bigwomen” as a couple of the search terms that have led to my site.
30th September, 2007 at 12:44 pm :
I think I will delete my MySpace account, as I never actually do anything on there. I have to keep my Facebook one as I am currently in a 2 year long poke war with my cousin, which I will not back down from.
Posting comments on here is much easier than writing a whole blog, which I gave up upon a few weeks ago.
Had anyone heard much of Newton Faulkner? I read somewhere that he is the new Jack Johnson. I think it is unfair to give such damning reviews to new artists.
30th September, 2007 at 12:53 pm :
I’ve heard of Newton Faulkner, but only cos his new album was advertised on tv. His music sounds alright, but just like any type of music, it’s not really my kinda thing.
30th September, 2007 at 12:58 pm :
I have just downloaded the new album, I’ll give my expert critique later.
Does anyone want to see The Coral with me 12th October at Manchester Uni, cost about 18 squid?
VIP
30th September, 2007 at 1:33 pm :
Chris. Arabella is going to kill you when she reads that.
1st October, 2007 at 7:56 am :
sorry. tom, why don’t you have a killing face? :idiots: idiots will have to do.